The Curious Case of Uma: A Hilarious Identity Mix-Up

The morning sun filtered through the blinds of my office. I am UmaMaheswaran, a financial advisor running a sole trader firm. Business has been good, but managing multiple clients is no easy task. "Sir, the files for Mrs Sujatha's portfolio are ready," a soft, melodious voice announced. I looked up from my laptop. It was Ms. Chitra, my sole assistant. She stood there looking impeccable, as always. She wore a simple yet elegant cotton saree, her hair neatly tied in a braid, a small bindi resting perfectly between her expressive eyes, and a touch of light, flawless makeup. She was not just intelligent and fiercely efficient at scheduling and correspondence; she possessed a homely, captivating beauty that often left me secretly in awe. "Thank you, Chitra," I said, taking the file. "Have you arranged the travel for next week's client meeting in Bangalore?" "Yes, sir," she replied with a warm smile. "I've booked the Cab and arranged for our lodging and boarding. Two separate executive rooms at the business hotel near the client's office. The itinerary is on your desk." "Excellent work. You always make these travels so effortless," I complimented her. "It's my job, sir," she nodded gracefully and walked back to her desk. As she walked away, I couldn't help but admire the graceful drape of her saree and the quiet confidence her styling gave her. For months, a strange, tempting curiosity had been brewing in my mind. How did it feel to wear such elegant fabrics? How did makeup transform a face so dramatically? It was a foolish, secret thought for a man in his late thirties, but Chitra's daily elegance constantly fueled it. After a long day, I returned to my house. I own a two-story building; I live alone on the first floor. The ground floor is occupied by Mrs. Aarthi. Her husband works abroad, and her daughter is studying for her graduation and stays in a hostel. Since we both live alone, Aarthi graciously provides my breakfast and dinner. I walked down the stairs and knocked on her door. "Come in, Mahesh! Dinner is ready," Aarthi called out from the kitchen. "Smells delicious, Aarthi," I said, sitting at the small dining table. She walked out wiping her hands on a towel, carrying a bowl of hot curry. "Eat up. You work too hard. By the way, the postman came today. He dropped a letter in my box by mistake. It was addressed to 'Uma'. I almost returned it, then I remembered your old school stories." I chuckled, feeling a bit embarrassed. Because my given name was UmaMaheswaran, mostly people used to call me 'Uma' in school and college. After starting my business, I shortened it to U Mahesh to avoid the feminine association. "Yes, some of my old bank accounts still use the full name," I explained. Aarthi laughed. "Well, 'Uma', eat your food." From that day on, she playfully started calling me Uma when we were alone. A few weeks later, it was a relaxing Friday evening. I was having dinner at Aarthi's house when her phone rang. "Hello? Oh, Shruthi! How are you?" Aarthi answered loudly, putting the phone on speaker while she served me some rice. Shruthi was Aarthi's close relative and childhood friend who lived in another city. They spoke almost daily. "I'm good, Aarthi! What are you doing?" Shruthi's voice echoed from the phone. "Just serving dinner. Uma is having food right now," Aarthi said casually. "Oh, Uma is there?" Shruthi asked, her tone brightening. Since Aarthi had started using the name a few weeks ago, Shruthi had assumed 'Uma' was a young woman living upstairs. "Is she working? She must be tired." I froze with a spoonful of rice halfway to my mouth. I looked at Aarthi, my eyes wide with shock. I mouthed, Tell her I'm a boy! Aarthi looked at me, covered her mouth, and suppressed a giggle. The mischievous side of her took over. "Yes, Shruthi, she is working," Aarthi lied smoothly, her eyes dancing with amusement. "She works very hard in an office. Poor girl is exhausted." "Aww, bless her," Shruthi said. "You know, you talk about her so much, but I've never seen her. Send me a photo of Uma!" My jaw dropped. I aggressively shook my head, waving my hands in a panic. "A photo? Oh, she's eating right now, looking very messy," Aarthi laughed. "I will send you a nice picture of her tomorrow, okay?" "Promise?" "Promise! Bye, Shruthi!" Aarthi disconnected the call and immediately burst into uncontrollable laughter. "Aarthi!" I half-shouted, putting my spoon down. "Why are you telling her I am a girl? And why on earth did you agree to send a photo?!" Aarthi wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, Mahesh, relax! We are very close from childhood; I just wanted to have some fun with her. She genuinely thinks you're a sweet, hardworking girl sharing meals with me." "But she asked for a photo! What are you going to do now?" I asked, feeling a cold sweat on my forehead. Aarthi stopped laughing and looked at me, tapping her chin thoughtfully. The silence stretched for a few minutes. "Mahesh," she said slowly, a spark in her eye.